Sometimes, I fear, one may have so much creative energy bundled up inside themselves, that they cannot figure out what the hell to do first.  Such was my life on Friday, sitting at my computer at work, trying to figure out what to do first: should I redesign my website?  Write songs to attempt to finish a concept album I’ve been working on and off for about two years?  Practice songs for a show I’m playing for NORML Con in two weeks?  Write more of the Quake Saga (coming Sept 4th!)?

Orrrrr play Final Fantasy on my phone?

… Well, it is a really addictive game.

Here’s what I need to do: Focus.

This all makes me wonder: how does one focus?  How do we get done the things we need or want to do?  For artists, how does creativity get funneled into creation?  I’m trying to think of how I write songs, but really I don’t know.  I do know that I am not in a songwriting position right now.  I can’t think of anything good, and no … I dunno, I have no spirit for it.  Sometimes I do, and I write lots of songs.  But now, not so much.  So there goes the concept album idea.

Some people need music playing, some need to be moving, standing, dancing.  Some people need drugs.  Whatever it is, there needs to be some kind of energy medium that takes place, a catalyst, where the potential energy of creativity gets filtered away from the general energy of life.  It’s a strange process.

So now, of course, I’m sitting in bed writing on my girlfriend’s laptop, telling you about this somewhat mediocre thought process I’m going through right now.  Bear with me, I’m still a bit rusty with the whole blogging thing.

Now, I’ve said this several times before: The Quake Saga, a serialized piece of fiction I used to write a few years ago (like, about seven or eight years ago), currently sits on my hard drive, mid-chapter 29. Unfinished. This is the bane of my life, having projects that I leave unfinished because, well, I can’t get the motivation to keep writing. But TQS was different; I started it in 2001 and wrote it for a couple of years, before becoming bogged down with college life. My fantasy- and computer game-loving self was becoming replaced by parties and theatre.

Well, I’ve been telling myself for the past year or so that I should start writing again, to start popularizing the online serialized format: despite the prevalence of video and images on the internet, there is a lot of promise, I think, in online serials. It’s like the serials of the 19th century, except instead of newspapers, it’s on blogs, websites, wherever they will give you text space.

And so, beginning Saturday, September 4th, I will begin reposting TQS, chapter by chapter, and also begin writing it again. By the time I get to chapter 29 (where I stopped), I should be well ahead, giving myself much needed editing time.

The website will be quake.zornog.net. I don’t know what I’ll use to post chapters. I might go the old school route and just write up some HTML code myself. We’ll have to see.

So if you’re an old school gamer who grabbed a mouse to play Quake or other games like that, or if you like the Matrix-esque idea of living in an electronic world, I think the Quake Saga will be enjoyable to you.

I’m also thinking about releasing an audio podcast of me reading each chapter, too. So you can listen on your way to work, or school, or something. Either way, this is gonna be great. Stay tuned.

Oh and yes, I am going to try to write more in general, especially on this blog.

This is a long one, but I liked it.  Plus it means my blog is updated.

What do you say to friends/family who equate the passage of health care reform with the decline of America? People who say “We the people need to take back the power that has been ripped from us” Especially ones that voted for Bush TWICE! WTF?

Well, part of me thinks THEY’RE the decline of America, so what can you do? I can seriously see some secessions or alterations of our country in the next 100 years. Maybe even a civil war. The trouble is that “they” are very militaristic and have guns, while “we” are pussy liberals who want peace and holding hands and such. All we have behind us is knowledge and science, and I don’t know of anyone who wanted to die for science.

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Hello blog.  I’ve been lax in updating you and the reason is simple: I’m cheating on you with Tumblr.  Blog, you’re great, but we’ve been together for so long that things were starting to get … stale.  So one night, in a drunken stupor, I stumbled over to Tumblr and said, “Baby, you got great legs.”  The rest is history.  And for a while now we’ve been fucking like rabbits.  And it’s been great.  The sex has been … really great.  Life changing, really.  And it’s so simple: text, photo, audio, video, it’s all right there, like a rack of your favorite sex toys just waiting to be used¹.

So why did I come back?  There is a long, complicated answer to that question, and there is also a really short, ridiculous answer.

I’ll give you the short, ridiculous answer:

I want to, nay, need to write a blog about my t-shirts.

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(my apologies for not updating my blog as much as i would prefer. i haven’t been very interesting lately, i must admit.  i will write a blog about FAWM later.)

Anyway, is there really any difference between imagination and reality? How do you know?

This is a really fun question to think about. I have a couple theories. There’s this idea in quantum physics that there are an infinite number of parallel universes that mirror our own. If that’s the case, then there is no difference between imagination and reality, because infinity implies everything; that is, if it can be imagined, then there is a universe in which it exists (think rule 34 but for the universe). So there is a universe where unicorns exist, a universe where Rush Limbaugh is a decent fellow, and a universe where you are the opposite gender that you are currently.

Moreso, my belief is that if you can imagine these things, then you are not really imagining, but tapping into those alternate realities. So when you imagine a unicorn, you’re actually linked with a parallel universe in which unicorns exist.

Of course, this really nerfs the idea of imagination, but I don’t mind. I like the concept of all things existing at all times, but us being only fixed into one thing at one time, probably because that’s all our consciousness will allow. I suppose when we die we ascend to a new level of consciousness where we can perceive all realities at once. This also relates to the theory of our “soul” being energy, and our energy transferring into all things when we die. It’s just that we transcend the third dimension at that point — we become space AND time, and perhaps much more.

So, in theory, death could be the merging of ALL consciousness, of those who died at least. As much as I enjoy having my own identity, the idea of being a part of Everything seems incredibly cool, too.

This also relates to the idea of “Heaven/Hell,” or reward or punishment for our earthly deeds — that is, when we are alive, we are striving for this higher consciousness that potentially awaits us in death. HOW we strive to achieve that is what religion becomes: a system of dogma and guidelines for preparing your soul for the afterlife, for the acceptance of higher consciousness. If we do not prepare our souls, then we do not achieve this higher consciousness (Heaven) and we become … nothing? (Purgatory) or something worse (Hell).

Ahhhh, I fuckin love this stuff!